warning: habit-forming

can i just say the fortified zaadz rocks?

what's it all about?

great (and to quote zaadz, beautiful too!) people with great vision.
let's change the world.

my piece.

3 hours.

That is how long I slept before waking up to the reality that it's no longer us. Reaching for my phone, I had to fight the urge to send you a 'good morning' message. Funny how when I checked my outbox, I texted you a couple hours ago when I was supposedly sleeping.

That's how ingrained you are in my system - I sleep-SMS you.

Yet I know I deserve this, this misery I am in. After all, I called for this.

We've talked about it, and however crappy you may find my reasons are, I stand by them. I need you to understand that these are my battles and I love you too much to drag you into this pit.

Yup, I said the L word again, because it is true. Still very much is. You should know that I have never experienced this kind of romantic love until you. You've set the bar too high and right now, I can't imagine anyone else who would love me as much as you do.

I don't know how we could have done better. Probably it's a case of too much, too soon. I warned you how complicated I am and yet you were there to stand by me.

I am terrible.

Please don't hate me when I say you deserve someone who will give you the time and attention I am unable to provide right now, because in fact, what I really mean is I am still hoping that someday, that person would be me. I am not being egoistic, when I tell you that you should be happy, because when I say that, I am wishing in my heart that I'd be that person someday too.

Your loss, you even joked when we talked three hours ago, but this has hit me hard just now, when I realized I can no longer send you messages, or get replies for that matter. That no one will wish me well in the morning and send virtual embraces at night. Or crack me up with jokes. Or remind me to eat. Or that someone is listening to Dave Barnes feeling the same way I do.

In fact, it dawned on me that I might possibly be letting go of the only good thing in my life, yet, I don't know where to start nor if it is even possible to make things right. It is selfishness to keep you waiting when I can't guarantee when or if I'll ever be better.

Until that time that I can take your hand and say, let's start anew, let me wallow in this sadness. And if your hand has clasped another, I know I am the only one to blame.

for you

because you said i only send songs...
(and yes, i drew that myself with a little help from scribbler)

shameless promo

if you haven't done so, check out my attempts at art here. (i used to post regularly in caedes but they periodically take off images which only have a few votes *ouch*)


anyway, do see my works, i love getting comments (nice or otherwise).

faithful

there is beauty IN madness

every song is about you
even the ads that i see
the people's names
and their faces to me
all melt into one
and come out as you
if this isn't love
then i am cuckoo.






the best clueless look i can come up with

madly

mornings, i look forward to
and nights, i pray
never to wake from this slumber
that has me dreaming awake

                       your love sustains my breathing
                       as the sun lends light to the moon
                       you're the missing piece in my puzzle,
                       the other half that'll complete this loon.

the puzzle nut

another reason why the whole seen (and unseen world for that matter) never fail to fascinate me.
a 'rubix cube' that grows on trees. a-ma-zing.



















puzzle nut