coming to grips

with nothing else to do, I decided to attend our team newbies' treat at GB3. anticipating the friday-after-5 traffic, i left home early, thinking i could use the wait time to look for a new book or shirt. i tucked jostein's the orange girl and my ipod in my trusty messenger and went off.

sure enough, the cab ride was a breeze. having lots of time to spare, i decided to cool down at starbucks and probably finish the book. 6750 branch was full. walked a little further and found that the G4 lower ground branch was full as well. last chance, cinema level.

shoot. it seemed that every table was occupied but i decided to try my luck and buy a drink already. worst case, i'll just wait for someone to leave.

i paid for the drink and got it from the counter. still not an empty table in sight. so i walked to the hidden nook behind the counter and found it empty. lucky lucky lucky. i settled down, brought out the book and hooked up my earphones. and suddenly i freaked out. the sad-chill-down-my-spine type.

this is the exact same spot where we had our first coffee. everything's the same except for a few things. it was night then, and you were sitting in front of me. i was reading another book that time, and we were listening to my ipod. i had the same drink then. i always have the same drink. i think you had raspberry frappe.

that was exactly three months ago.

now, whenever my closest friends would see me, they'd tell me to give you up altogether. if possible, erase you from my memories. they don't understand how difficult saying i'll do it is, from actually doing it.

i just want to wake up one day and find that you don't matter to me anymore.