Search This Blog

Monday, December 31, 2007

new year thoughts (because it's in! :D)


The past year saw me...

going through a lot of changes.

losing touch with some friends, and gaining new ones.

finding and losing love (and the cycle still continues).

acquiring some material things and giving much (i hope i did!).

laughing my heart out at the silliest things
and crying my heart out as well.

Good or not-so-good, I'm not going to leave out any of these memories, because cheesy as it may sound, they made me who I am right now. Sure, there were unbearable moments. There are particular instances that stand out for hurting the most. But knowing that I am now looking back at all of them makes me proud. I think of them as the fine sift that is used to separate dirt until what is left is gold.

No one knows what this new year holds for any of us, but I carry with me the same strength that has carried me all these 25 years. It is not out of conceit or cockiness, it is from knowing that Someone's in control of it all.

And that Someone believes that I can only get better with time.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Closing Cycles [Paulo Coelho]

This has been posted an infinite number of times already, but it really hits the nail with what I went through this year, so here goes. Italics and emphases are mine.

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

---

Sorting it all out at the moment...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

thought for the day

i'm not mean.
it's just so freakin' uncomfortable.

so i just followed the age-old advise. if you don't like what's happening, you always have the option to remove yourself from the situation.

and yes this is me practicing my free-will.