up for grabs!

Apparently, I am worth a whooping $2,458,130 on HumanForSale.com, and currently one of the most expensive males (well internet-literate males that is) in the face of the planet.

Now who needs bling when I'm the bling?

love amendment

for someone who considers himself sensible most of the time, i really am starting to believe i am stupid when it comes to matters of the heart. this is my achilles heel: i easily fall in love. too easy that i have gotten my heart chipped off several times in just a matter of months.

*bonks head*

i reason out with myself sometimes. maybe i'm just feeling lonely, or heaven forbid, desperate, that's why i'm this vulnerable when it comes to loving. so now i'm resolving to using da coconut head resting on my shoulders and not just the butterflies (yeah flutter all you want in my tummy, i'm gonna wash you down with macchiato)

and one more thing, i propose that wearing one's heart on his sleeve be made illegal.

unloved.

sometimes you've just had it. however much you try to forge on and just deal with the blows, you still reach your breaking point.

i just did.

i am human and i am entitled to just break down and let it all fall. i clench my jaw to hold back the tears, but all the piled up frustrations, disappointments, and emotional whatnots i've kept inside gushed forth. in fact i want to hit someone (thank God for pillows) just to let out the pent-up anger.

i've always strived to be good, but when people, worse if they are family, make you feel like that everything they do for you is an obligation and not an act of love, it hurts like hell. family's supposed to be your retreat when the whole world is against you; now someone tell me i'm not alone.

i swear when i have a family of my own i'd make them feel loved like every day is the end of the world.

and i'm sure they'd write about it.

zero missing puzzle pieces

you complete me... so goes one of the cheesiest lines in romantic-comedy movie history. i mentioned this because, i have been pondering on the subject of love and relationship recently, and this is one of the things i have come to refute.

we cannot complete others, nor can others complete us.

it is most tragic that we were brought up to think that we are all giant puzzles each with a missing piece that can only be filled by another person. don't get me wrong, i've fallen for this myth as well, and i thank life's recent circumstances (among others, realizing that the person you loved is not in love with you, but with the idea of being in loved and involved) for waking me.but have we for one moment grasped the undeniable truth that we are, each of us, complete on our own? that it is selfish if we look for completeness in the relationships we make?

this is not to say that this is the entire truth, after all, i might be wrong. yet the more i think about it, if we expect another person to complete us, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, and, the people we love, for unreasonable expectations.

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation.
We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
- Leo Buscaglia

just run

Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you’re ahead; sometimes you’re behind;
the race is long,
and in the end it’s only with yourself.
- Baz Luhrmann

lucky you.

whether you celebrate easter or not, the story of easter still resonates as one of the greatest love stories of all. and if that alone doesn't make you thankful, here's an email message i received from a friend

Consider this:

If you have food, clothes and a home, you are richer than 75% of the world; if you have some money in the bank, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy; if you woke up healthy this morning, you are more blessed than the one million who will not survive this week; if you have experienced peace and freedom, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world; if you can read this message, you are more blessed than over 2 billion people who cannot read at all! Won't you thank God for how blessed you are?

now tell me it's not a happy easter.

definitive dreamer songs part2

i lied. i got caught up with work again and forgot to finish my list. i'm changing my approach this time, let's focus on the lyrics. anyhow, here goes:

drowning (missy higgins)
- she's more popular for her breakthrough song scar but i like this one better.
"love rules all/conquers all "

dying (five for fighting)
- reeks of sadness. love it.
" there's a shade come over this/heart that's coping with/laying down to rest"

say what you want (texas)
- another vh1-ish song. the intro alone could stand on its own
"you can say what you want/but it won't change my mind"

if i ever lose my faith in you (sting)
- sting is sting.
"i could be lost inside their lies without a trace/but every time I close my eyes, I see your face"

let it fall (glen phillips/sean watkins)
- glen's formerly of toad the wet sprocket, has one of the nicest singing voices. sean watkins is part of the bluegrass band nickel creek. the song's light but has a sad undertone.
" my kingdom's walls have fallen down/but i know that i don't wear an undeserved crown"

here is gone (goo goo dolls)
- the song that replaced iris on my goo goo dolls list. typically the song you want to sing when your just ready to go.
" and i don't need the fallout/of all the past that's in between us/and i'm not holdin' on/and all your lies weren't enough to keep me here"

brighter than sunshine (aqualung)
- and now a song when you're in love. haha!
" love will remain a mystery/but give me your hand and you will see/your heart is keeping time with me"

what a wonderful world (louis armstrong)
- i started loving this song after meet joe black. you're right, it's my all-time fave film.
" i hear babies crying i watch them grow/they'll learn much more than i'll ever know/and i think to myself/what a wonderful world"

baby i love your way (big mountain)
- who doesn't dance to this song?
" shadows grow so long before my eyes/and they're moving across the page/suddenly the day turns into night/far away from the city"

measure of love (tj mccloud)
- a former lead vocals of stephen speaks. i won't be surprised if this artist wins a grammy for songwriting. amazing arrangements too. calling record companies, bring tj's album to manila pretty please!
"i'm not gonna lie/there've been times/when i broke down and cry/at the thought of the distance/scared of the miles/all that i'm missing/away from those eyes"

darkness falls (caleb carruth)
- another non-mainstream artist (talk about 'hidden' talent) that sounds great. the song i've been singing every single morning. certainly captured my idea of God.
"you're the beauty that encompasses the night/the peace in the morn/you're the dreams of my dreams/i will never awake"

there you go, now go ahead, given these songs, half-empty-half-full-shrink me. :)

definitive dreamer songs part1

today just feels weird. it has been a long time since i spent the entire sunday morning at home and i feel idle. i know i have lots to do: clean up this blog's code, organize my computers files (my my docs folder is one big trash bin), read the ballycumbers (woah hehe) or just succumb to my OCD and wipe things with alcohol. yet, i don't feel like doing any of these at all, so i decided to list down my favorite songs.

it's not thorough, but when i sorted my itunes' play rate they are in the honor roll.

comfort in your strangeness (cynthia alexander)
- there's just something honest about this song, or probably it's the way cynthia sang it.

everything (lifehouse)
- yeah i'm one of the hoardes who like this song, it just gives me the tingles when i hear it. the dynamics is really nice how the song starts like a whisper and rocks out in the end.

last goodbye (jeff buckley)
- too bad he's dead. (or is he?) the song just oozes with longing and jeff buckley's voice is perfect for it.

i love you, porgy.| here comes the sun. (nina simone)
- both are covers. i wish i've discovered nina simone sooner. couldn't add more, nina's the man (err woman) when it comes to the jazzy/bluesy stuff.

across the universe (fiona apple)
- fiona apple may eat eccentricity for breakfast, but her cover of this beatles' song is really good. love the lazy style.

amber (311)
- did i say beach? one of the perfect summer songs where you sit near a beach bonfire and chill.

santeria (sublime)
- perhaps the best sublime song, like 311's amber, this is a beach song, exuding that authentic jamaican feel.

les fleurs (4hero)
- the first time i heard the full version of this song, i couldn't sleep. because i can't remember the tv ad that used it. later on i found it was bailey's. very nice orchestral arrangement.

sunday morning (maroon 5)
- another mainstream song which doesn't fail to trigger a bobbing motion with my head.

i'm yours | clockwatching (jason mraz)
- love the mraz, hey i can even mimic his style on some of his songs (takes a lot of practice and stuttering i tell you). he's the god that gives (us) geeks the hope that we have equal chances in love's playing field hehe

and the last song for today's list is:

maybe tomorrow (stereophonics)
- really nice, slow, groovy rock song. one of the songs that make me feel really cool for some reason when i listen to it. (just imagine me walking 6 blocks to work and grooving to this song)

having said that, the rest of the list will come tomorrow :P

birthday thoughts

i like life. it's something to do.
-ronnie shakes

the first thing i thought of when i woke up to my 2_ (hah!) year on earth is: i don't feel 2_ (hah! again) at all. i decided to date myself (i'm alright, thanks. a lifetime of singlehood has prepared me for this) as i usually do on birthdays. learned quite a few things:

1. there's such a thing on clothes as gusot mayaman (rich man's wrinkle, refers to clothes which even hell's flat irons would hate). yeah laught at me all you want, but i really thought it was a slang, until i saw three stalls selling clothes labeled that way.

2. computer applications develop articial intelligence (hmm more like emotions). want proof? whenever i take a day off from work, our computer systems mess up. i swear, it's because our SAP system misses me.

3. it's normal even if it doesn't feel like it, when none of your ex-es greet you.

4. if it's your birthday, you are entitled to treat yourself to two Starbucks drinks, a nice laptop bag, two shirts, and a movie. **snaps** and if you're planning to ask, yes i'm broke right now hehe

5. the weather's so hot here in manila that if sunlight is a currency, Filipinos would be gazillionaires.

6. sports suits/blazers are expensive in tropical countries. don't ask me why, but the basic law of supply and demand definitely didn't apply to the kenneth cole jacket i was eyeing. how much is it?--i'd have to work forever.

7. at twenty-_, i have so much to learn, and do, and feel, and aaargghhh let's just say, i can't wait to see my hundredth birthday candle blown.

and even if there's no one there to celebrate it with me, i know it will be alright ;-)

goal!

Among the things that keep me sane is photography. There's nothing like the feeling of being able to capture the beauty in seemingly ordinary things, and although I don't have the best tools to work with, I try to make do with my trusty digital camera.

In fact, when I list down the alternative careers that I would love to take, being a photographer/graphic artist is probably the top (closely followed by 2.rockstar and 3.resort/food/travel writer).

Last February, I joined a photography contest sponsored by the Apple distributor here in the Philippines, with the theme Apple Of My I, and among the categories is a people's choice so if you want to help me realize a dream, please vote for me here, my entry is Nighty-night Pod. That's my nephew right there listening to an ipod (as cool as his uncle, I know ;))

Yes, I'm a dreamer, but as a certain Ralph Vaull Starr said, "Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."