Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Trailer

I'm excited!

just like that.

still a bit shaken.

my 8-month old car was hit by a 10-wheeler truck barely 4 hours ago. i was in Meralco Avenue on my way to the hospital where my nephew is confined, when this enormous stupid piece of vehicle swerved and hit the left side of my car. i managed to step on the break and prevent further damage as he continued to skid and put a nice big gash on my car and flip the side mirror outwards.

if you happened to pass by this area around 4 pm earlier, we were the ones causing the slowdown. and man, i've never been that furious in my entire life. i tried to manage my temper but when this stupid truck driver with his mocking smile insisted that i was at fault (when clearly, if you see the damage on my car, i was the one HE hit), i kinda lost it and I almost wanted to cuss big time, but i didn't. Pardon the words, pero may kagaguhan talaga.

my car has this ugly scar now and i have to sort out the insurance, the repair, my sched when i can't use it. just not the best time if i may say.

nevertheless, i'm just thankful i'm still in one piece. if the truck had been any faster or swerved a litttle more to the right, i could've been crushed, just like that.

anniversary rant

i'm keeping this short and bittersweet.

five years, and yet i am not completely happy about celebrating it. a part of me wants to be, with all the things i've learned, and all the people i've met. but the more i stay, the more i become redundant. redundant and stuck in the same rut i've been in.

true, i don't mind getting things done. at the end of the day, it's not getting credit, it's about getting the work done. to be honest, i don't like counting.

i love being depended upon, but not for all time. we all take baby steps but at some point, we must start running.

everyone gets tired.
and i'm just like everyone, five years after.

Scala and Kolacny Brothers

Out of curiosity, I checked out this group that an online contact had been twitting about and now I'm hooked.

Scala and Kolacny Brothers is a group composed of a youth choir from Aarschot, Belgium, roughly sixty teenage girls, directed by two talented brothers, covering mainstream music, such as Damien Rice's The Blowers Daughter and Depeche Mode's Somebody.

Here's a sample of them singing U2's With Or Without You.

iCompose

it's true that we all have a terminal disease, and it is called life. mortality is the great human equalizer - we will all be leaving behind this carbon-based existence one way or the other.

the past few days i've been thinking - is it all worth it?

we wake up, we toil, we smile, we stress, we love, we fight, we create, we seek. but still, every story will end.

and yet i sometimes imagine that our lives are compositions, each moment defined by a chord and a tempo, adagios and vivos following each other. there are high notes and low notes and midtones.

my life may not be a Bach. or a Mozart, and lately i feel like it's out of sync at times. but i've learned to accept that a beautiful symphony doesn't always need to be happy and high all the time; that how the low, thick and sad sounds fit in make it all the more interesting.

the more i philosophize, the more i realize this life's worth it.

and i want to see how this melody ends.

P.S.
who knows, another's harmony might just make it extra special.

Maria!

Crappy day. The only thing that picked me up are these versions of Maria. Yup, trying to revive that West Side Story high

The 1961 movie version


David Habbin

Werner Mai


Rafael Moras


John Barrowman

9 - 9

a brief encounter perhaps but those melancholic eyes and sweet smile are enough.

hay, dream on, chas.
i'm the king of pushing one's luck.

insensitive

i'm out of vogue
i'm out of touch
i fell too fast
i feel too much

shit.

on capitalism

Read this today from the thinkarete email. Nice :)

As used in economics the term "capital" would be defined as follows: Capital refers to resources withheld from immediate consumption in the expectation of greater future returns. However controversial a topic this has been, capital has been the main–if not the only–way of achieving progress, even in violently anticapitalist, socialist countries. A dam, a hospital, a university, a cathedral, or a national park cannot be built without using up resources that would be easier to consume immediately, and none of them would be built at all unless they were believed to provide some greater returns in the future.

~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

'tis better

...to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

The Next American President?

Funny!

catharsis.

it could have been any ordinary evening, but fate decided to grant me the pleasure of seeing you in the flesh.

and you were just any ordinary flesh either, you're an example of why people, including myself, believe in God. eyes, nose, ears, torso, limbs, all in perfect combination. the smile isn't bad either--the first faint one washed all the stresses of my day in an instant.

the night was full of contradictions: our conversation was light, unlike the food we ordered. i'm a coffee-lover, and you're not. i could go on but it would only further prove the point that i so badly want to be proven. opposites attract? i don't know. i hope.

i know that you're rightly classified as OOCL (out of chas' league) in my book, but i took a chance. who knows, my brand of humor isn't bad at all, and though i almost popped a vein trying to grasp your outrageously sexy fluency, i seriously got myself to talk straight English for more than 2 hours.

the night had to end and i offered to drop you off. no, it's not a force of habit that i do on all my dates. i was buying time so i could catch a waft of your scent, or perhaps take an SLR-ish mental picture of your eyes when you smile. did i want to kiss you in the car? yes, but i didn't because i didn't want to assume. i couldn't hold back so i took your hand on the last minute and it felt right even for just that brief moment.

i didn't look back when you got out of the car. the texts or the lack of them almost confirm what i've feared: a memory of a dream might be the only thing to which im holding on.

hatin'

...this feeling.:{

emo.

i've been in this pensive mood for several days now but I can't really pinpoint when it started and what triggered it.

most of the time - i feel like i'm about to drown in all of this.
i cling on to anything that could keep me afloat.

one thing that keeps me going is knowing that there's Someone up there who knows my struggle.

i'm holding on.

on my way

hand on the wheel,
eyes on the road,
i take the quiet drive home;
brake lights reflect
like fire on my eyes
and drown in my thoughts:
80 on the gauge
1:30 on the clock
3 unread messages on my phone;
the pavement groans
as i go along,
life is one long trip
passing me by
it's a blessing and a curse,
this,
being alone.

an email from above

Chas,

This is God.

Today I will be handling ALL of your problems for you.

I do NOT need your help.

So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S.

And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do NOT attempt to resolve it yourself!

Kindly put it in the “SFGTD” (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.

All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

keeping mum

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

~ Albert Einstein

satisfaction guidelines

We fail to be happy because we are not satisfied with what we have. So here are a few satisfaction guidelines:

1. Do not hold on to something that would never be yours.

2. Do not fight for someone or something not worth fighting for.

3. Do not cry for something lost, gone, and inevitable.

4. Appreciate what you have and be thankful for things people give you.

Happiness is a mere construct of the mind, you can be happy as long as you really want to.

*A friend sent this via SMS to me today :)

work rant

whatever happened to "be loyal to those who are absent?" :-)

tsk tsk.

colleagues, don't ask, just ranting ;-)

Even otters have someone to hold...

Cullum-ish!

Jamie Cullum's been a staple since I started driving. If you see a silver car stuck in traffic along C5 around lunch time, with the driver tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and seemingly belting out, that would probably be me :D This is one of my favorites, love the sound of the bass, and the bridge part:

"Maybe I'll just fall in love...that could solve it all..."

Some more practice and I'd be singing like him. Wishful thinking :)

loving the doing

"You must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the secondary consequences."

~ Ayn Rand, 20th century philosopher from The Fountainhead

We must love the doing.
We must love the doing.
We must love the doing.

I repeated that for emphasis, but what does "loving the doing" really mean? Let me give an example. The past week was arguably one of the worst work weeks I've had in months. This high visibility project went live last weekend and we spent the entire week resolving irritating bugs and problems that came with it. By mid-week, I was on the verge of breakdown, but I know I have to keep going. Why? Because I love what I do. At this time and age of temporary joys and quarter-life crises, it might be difficult to believe, but I do love being able to do the things I do. True, there will be times when I'm so out of it, but then I get back up and love it all over again.

Still, when we say love the doing, it doesn't mean we lose sight of our goals. We do not want to ramble around. I see it this way - part of it is knowing what we want, and the rest is actually doing something to get exactly what we want. If I'm running, I'm more likely to win if I do these things--know that there's a finish line and just run!

You cannot love something you didn't choose. When you love something (or someone for that matter), it's because you consciously chose it--your actions, your situations. Thus, at the end of the day, loving the doing is being in control of your life. And that is extremely powerful.

01110011 01100001 01100100 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011

Barely four months into 12-hour, mostly stand-by mode, days, my laptop gave up on me last Saturday. I'm posting this blog from a borrowed, decrepit service laptop which do not have my three years worth of archived email, my ISO documents, my project upgrade stuff, my bookmarks, artwork templates i created for our organization's newsletter, my various worksheets and my archive of team photos.

I don't have access to my outlook email, am unable to do urgent project tasks, and have basically zero productivity output for three days now.

If there is such a thing, I think I'm experiencing digital depression.

good night.

Chas' handwriting

Got this from spihtbraht, interesting. I'm highlighting those which I think applies to me the most ;)

My handwriting analysis:

Chas is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes.

Chas will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Chas an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Chas is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Chas is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

Chas tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Chas writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Chas will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says "he didn't hear you", he really means, he didn't hear you.

Chas will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Chas believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Chas will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Chas's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Chas slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Chas can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Chas is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Chas basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Chas is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Chas has a temper. He uses this as a defense mechanism when he doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around him.

Chas is selective when picking friends. He does not trust everyone. He has a select group of people that are truly close to him, usually two or three. He is careful when choosing his inner circle of friends.

Try it @ http://handwritingwizard.com

i think that i shall never see...

A
tree
is worth $196,250!
According to university professor
T.M Das a tree living for 50 years will
generate $31,250 worth of oxygen and provide
$62,000 worth of air pollution control. Plus it
will control soil erosion and increase soil fertility
to the tune of $34,250, recycle $37,500 worth of water and
provide a home for animals worth $31,250. This figure does not
include the value of the fruits, lumber or beauty derived from trees.

Happy Earth Day!

poker

You let yourself hit rock-bottom in the hope that the whole process of rising will begin at once, but it doesn't.

You scour your mind for a possible reason, for what others call a 'higher purpose' for this low point in your life. It builds character, they say, and you think silly- did they mean cartoon? Because you realize you are slowly becoming a caricature of what you once were.

You try your best to find consolation in the things you have, in what you do, and in what you think you know - only to find that they don't account for much.

You sometimes wish that your heart will stop feeling, stop beating altogether because the pain is unbearable. One minute you find love, and you lose it the next. You numb yourself thinking it is the safest and fastest way out. To be alone.

And yet everyday, you wake up to a new morning and decide to embrace it; the sun like a giant beacon of hope made especially for you.

It is because in the war of life and love, you take any chance you are given, knowing that in any struggle, the last one standing wins.

I'm almost pretty sure now that God plays poker - and you learn to play the cards you are dealt with.

Soundtrack of My Life

Here are the instructions of the tag:

1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle or random play.
3. Look at the first question/number below. Press play.
4. Type the title of the song that's playing.
5. When you go to the next question/number, press the "next" button to go to the next song and type the title of the song that's playing, and so on and so forth....
6. DON'T LIE! (and dont press "next" to get another song if you don't like the song corresponding to the question/number below!) That's not cool!
7. When you're finished, tag some other people to do it :)

Here's mine


Opening Credits
All That Love - Korsakow

Lounge kung lounge. Napaka-artsy naman :)

Waking Up
One Step Too Far - Dido & Faithless

" You can sleep forever
But still you will be tired"

First Day of School
Wave - Kymaera

Bossa? Pang-art school talaga :)

Falling In Love
Upside Down - Jack Johnson

"I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away"
Nice! Love this song!

Fight Song
Hazey Jane II - Nick Drake

Haha folk sounding - parang 1980's TV action series chase

Breaking Up
The Dark of the Matinee - Coco Freeman feat Franz Ferdinand

" You smile, mention something that you like
or How you'd have a happy life if you did the things you like"


Prom
Only Hope - Switchfoot

Yehess pang A Walk to Remember ang prom!

Life
Streetcorner Symphony - Rob Thomas

Perfect song!!!
"Some people
It's a pity
They go all their lives and never know
How to love or to let love go
But it's alright now
We'll make it through this somehow
And we'll paint the perfect picture
All the colors of this world will run together more than ever
I can feel it
Can you feel it

We may never find our reason to shine
But here and now this is our time
And I may never find the meaning of life
But for this moment I am fine"

Mental Breakdown
Close of Autumn - Caedmon's Call

"When I'm cold and alone all I want is my freedom
And a sudden gust of gravity
I stop wailing and kicking
Just to let this water cover me, cover me
Only if I rest my arms, rest my mind
You'll overcome me and swell up around me
With my fighting so vain, with my vanity so fought
I'm rolling over
'Cause in just the same way
That the stream becomes swollen
Swollen with cold up over the ground
When my heart draws close to the close of autumn
Your love, your love abounds
All the time I'm thinking
Wondering how would it be
To breathe in deep
I guess I need to be careful
When I ask for a drink
(Just might get what I ask for)
And I know just what you'd say to me
That's why I don't ask you
What would I ask you?
I'm like a bullheaded boy these days
Crying my toy's gone...
You're shiny and new
Guess I'll drop my anger here
Before I float away
And the chains around me
An awful lot of talking
I don't leave you much to say
You didn't ever leave me
And my greatest fear
Was you'd leave me here
A long time back my feet
Could touch the bottom"

Driving
Candela - Buena Vista Social CLub

Puro latin na pang-kape ang muzak ko :P

Flashback
Sexi Plexi - Jack Johnson

No idea haha disjoint ang kantang to!

Getting Back Together
There Will Be Another You - Sitti Navarro

Parang di magkakabalikan :P

Wedding Song
Unjustified - SImon Webbe

"so have it your way
but you'll pay the price
you had ya chances, still got no answers
no leaving with your head held high
i ain't gonna run, i aint gonna fight
so don't go making business
when you ain't got no witness
i guess you gotta let love lie
unjustified"

Di daw talaga :p


Birth of a Child
Flight Attendant - Josh Rouse

"When I was
A little baby
A mamma's boy
No one could save me
From those kids at school
They would bully
They would tease
They would taunt me
Haunt me
"You're such a pretty boy"
"You're such a pretty boy"
"You're such a pretty boy"
"You're such a pretty boy"

Final Battle
Christmas With Jesus - Josh Rouse

" My conscience has it stripped down to a science, why does everything displease me still I'm trying…
And it's so very hard to ask for a part in your Christmas…I find getting in is easy when your friends with Jesus…
He's coming inside me without reason as I sit here waiting for his signal
And I ask of the lord to spare me his sword of forgiveness cause it's so very hard to ask for a part in your Christmas with Jesus"

Battle of faith talaga :p

Death Scene
You're Not Alone Tonight - Keith Urban

That's hopeful!

Funeral Song
Beautiful Soul - Jesse Mccartney

Wahaha at least beautiful kahit soul na :D

End Credits
Breathless - The Corrs

Haha breathless na talaga :P

birthday

Because I refuse to focus on my case of birthday blues , I am posting a list of famous people whom I share my birthday with and my (assumed) similarities with them instead

Jack Black, American Actor (yeah, he's funny and i am too!)

Victoria Adams, "Posh Spice" (err i'm trendy?)

Russell Crowe, Australian Actor (pensive at times?)

Jackie Chan, martial art actor (i kick ass!)

Francis Ford Coppola, director (i'm artistic)

William Wordsworth, England, poet laureate (i love poems)

Francis Xavier, saint and Jesuit missionary (i'm spiritual. seriously!)

Whachathink?

crazy

how can you miss someone you've only spent a few hours with?

i dont know.

maybe it's because in those few moments you were with that person, you realized what you have been missing all your life. that, in that brief period of time, you became totally sold to the idea that another person completes you even if its against all the things you have learned. now, when that borrowed time is over and it dawns on you that you may never get another set of chances with that person; that you might, forever be, no more than friends, it numbs you.

and no matter how you try to pick up the pieces of your heart and bond them with the glue of temporary joys, it would never be the same heart that would fit the hollow in your chest. there's a gap surrounding it, where there was none before.

crazy, but you might have actually willed your heart to shrink and leave that space around, hoping that one day, that person would surrender to your love, and decide to fill the space between.

"when all else i gone
i would still be here
in a memory of things yet unseen
i'll remember all that we've never been"
-in another lifetime, gary valenciano

unrecip.

can't remember where i read this, but it's something that i'm trying hard to re-learn every day.

love is a gift for which no return is demanded.
to love unselfishly is its own reward.

reminiscence

the moment you stepped into the shop, i knew it was not going to be easy. you sat, smiled, and i had to catch my breath. i must've looked blue for a moment and grinning sheepishly the next when we shook our hands.

in fact, before you came, i have reviewed the scene in my head a hundred times - i'm going to just chill and look uber-cool when i finally see you, but plans don't always work out the way we want them to. you were (and are) more than what i imagined you'd be.

and then you began to speak. it was just one word: hey, and yet it took every piece of me to blurt out something in reply. i'm like a babbling baby learning to talk -- "finally"; three syllables chas, three syllables, get it right. if i heard you right, you said in the most charming voice i've heard -- "yeah, what's up? musta?" or was it a multitude of angels singing hallelujah - i couldn't tell the difference.

was it an hour or two? i was not counting. i just wanted to look at your face and to listen to your voice. they are now two of my most favorite sights and sounds in the known universe.

sheesh.

taking chances

things that make me happy # 8

meeting someone for the first time
expecting nothing
then
finding something in them
worth pursuing.

flashback: like solar cells

The disciple approached his master:
"For years I have been seeking ilumination," he said. "I feel that I am close to achieving it. I need to know what the next step is."
"How do you support yourself ?" the master asked.
"I haven't yet learned how to support myself, my parents help me out. But is only a detail."
"Your next step is to look directly at the sun for half a minute," said the master. And the disciple obeyed.
When the half-minute was over, the master asked him to describe the field that surrounded them. "I can't see it. The sun has affected my vision," the disciple said.
"A man who seeks only the light, while shirking his responsibilities, will never find illumination. And one who keep his eyes fixed upon the sun ends up blind," was the master's comment.

- Paulo Coelho, Maktub collection of short stories

this is really really nice.

now let us, for one second, imagine we're like solar cells just sitting under the sun, unutilized. what a waste eh?

then imagine instead that we're not just wasting away all the sunlight we see and receive; that we're part of one big solar panel receiving light and turning it into useful and clean energy (giving light, warmth...power).

not the best example - but it drives home the idea that it is not enough to just see the light, if i may put it this way: convert it to energy!

and by the way, i'm all for sustainable energy.

a reflection on love

i've read once that we look for love because we want to be forgiven - for how we act, for our flaws, for our shortcomings, for who we are, and i think this is true.

one proof probably is that even with my circle of friends, there are those that i might have connected with because they saw my made-up, picture perfect side. but those which have seen me at my worst and still decided to stick it out are the ones that i consider indispensable.

almost a year ago, i thought i've finally been forgiven and it absolutely inspired me. you know how those who are in love talk about waking up to beautiful days? i had that and more. and then i was left behind. no, i wasn't worth loving.

the day after i realized it was really over, i woke up early and traveled to makati. so early in fact that i arrived at greenbelt when people were just about to go home from partying all night. not knowing what i really want to do, i decided to hear mass. and as if the heavens knew what i needed, the priest's homily struck me like woah. (internal dialogue:
"father, are you kidding me!?") in essence, this is what he said:

"in this world, we yearn for things in our lives, love being one of them. and when we don't get it right away, we start to think that something is wrong with us, with our lives. but what we always forget is that someone fell in love with us before anyone else ever did and ever will. God did, and still is. He still is."

imagine that. if not for the twenty-so strangers hearing mass with me that morning, i would have cried. bawled. that day, the heavens spoke and made me realize, i'm worth all the love in the world.

things that make me happy # 7

singing my out!


current fave: elliott yamin - one word
moderate stress: mika - my interpretation
uber-stressed: justin timberlake - sexyback (with dance moves pa!)

things that make me happy # 5

seeing my office crush

things that make me happy # 4

solving
a
defect
(hahaha work talk :P)

and since we've mentioned work:
i'm tagging people in the office: jesse, loubert, aris, adelle, tanya, bagus
- what are the things that make you happy?

things that make me happy # 3

finding crumpled money
in my pocket
or a bill in between
the pages of my planner
just when i thought
i had no money left :)

things that make me happy # 2

drinking
iced
caramel
latte

things that make me happy # 1

when you leave your mobile
and come back to find that
someone special
sent you a message

XVIII

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou are more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

- William Shakespeare

shall i compare thee? here i go again with my imaginary 'relationships'. haha :P

battle

when i am full of myself

... i take credit for everything
and place blame on everyone
... i keep things to myself
thinking it makes me better than everyone else
... i take things personally
... i lose it easily
... everything is about me being right

everyday i fight a battle to win over myself.

first breakdown?

I
miss
being
(romantically)
loved and
in love.

first breakdown?

I
miss
being
(romantically)
loved and
in love.

whew

it occurs to me that i'm so f*cking tired. pramis. but whereas before, i could have been acting up already, this week, i've managed to keep it all under control.

it's both strange and wonderful.

Give it up!!!

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson